I realy screwed up this time. I was to have my first clients of the shad season in the boat this morning. The flows went up the day before and I wasn’t sure how the fishing was going to be, though I was prety sure it would be fine. I checked the flow chart on the computer around 4:30 am this morning of our trip, and things had stabalized since noon yesterday. Good! An increase of water the same day can sometimes put a stop to the bite. I am confidant we are going to have a good day, and so I tell my clients on the phone, ” it’s a go.” I drive to Sailor Bar and am startled by the amount of water flowing over the gravel bar, and start wondering if the flow chart was wrong.
So now I start to have doubts about taking out my clients. Now the dilemma : do I call them( they are on the road this instant) and tell them, turn around, tell them that the river seems less than ideal, or do I meet them here, launch and see what happens? I am the Guide. So now I am having some doubt and something starts to eat away at my brain and it is this. I really, really want my clients to have a great day and catch fish. I really, really do! But I am not God.
I have had some real bummer outings, put another way, “the fishing was great, but the catching was not.” So at this moment my mind is eating away at my confidence. It is like a record that will only play the bad song on a really great album. I am still pretty sure we will catch fish, or will we? See!!! There it is again. Doubt. God, I hate IT!! The Unknown. So I call them and explian that things are less than ideal (simultaneously I am thinking to myself, get a reality check, Andy, they seldom are) that they can come out and give it a try and I wont charge them if they do not catch anything. Uncertainty. Who wants to pay for that on your weekend off in these financially hard times. Imagine if Christopher Columbus said to his royal financiers, the Queen and King of Portugal, “I am certain, almost, that the quickest way, possibly, I think to the East Indies and treasure is that way, out there somewhere, maybe, and if i don’t find any gold I will bring you tobacco and, o yes, some indians.” So to sum things up… my clients rightfully cancled.
My fault. My apologies.
Well, I launch the boat, head out and of course it turns out to be the best shad fishing I have had in a long time. I learned my lesson. A lesson that cost is one well remembered. It is not the end of the world even if I am dead.
Nothing ventured, nothing gained. I am glad that Adam ate the apple that morning it was handed to him by Eve. Hell, I should have eaten it too. There is good with the bad. You can’t tell one without the other. I need to be a little more adventurous and daring, I need to be much more like God…
Nice blog entry. Really enjoyed the read. You capture the mentality of it all very well.